A DISTURBING LACK OF CIVILITY

Yesterday, the media giddily reported that a tenured college teacher in California had called the late first lady a “witch” and that she was glad that Barbara Bush  had died.  The media also gave plenty of coverage to someone I never heard of called Roger Stone, who said the woman was a vicious drunk and she deserved to rot in hell.

Appalling.

Not just the fact that these people were so lacking in respect, but that the media would even cover such rot and give these rude people any voice at all.  Weren’t we always taught that you don’t speak ill of the dead?  Especially when they’re not yet cold in the grave? But then, of course, we have the former head of the FBI calling our duly elected president a “liar,” And said president turning around and calling that same man a “slimeball,” among other things.

What has happened to the YMCA core values of caring, honesty,  respect, responsibility? Name calling has always been the sign of a bully and a guttersnipe.   Respectable people kept such thoughts to themselves or shared them privately.

And how in the world can we explain all of this to our grandchildren?

GRATITUDE, GRANDCHILDREN & THANK YOU NOTES

  

Do you always receive a thank you note for the presents you send to your grandchildren?

If you listen to women at club meetings and bridge parties, you’re apt to hear a lot of grumbling on the subject.  Conventional wisdom says you should stop sending gifts to anyone who doesn’t acknowledge receiving them.  But hey, wait a minute.   Between the two of us, my husband and I have nine grandchildren,  Some write lovely thank you notes, some text or email, and a few of them say nothing at all.  Are we supposed to stop sending birthday and Christmas checks to the ungrateful ones?  We must conclude that those who don’t acknowledge gifts have not been well trained by their parents—who happen to be our very own children.

  

At our age, we never know when some medical disaster will strike.  So, before that happens, we want each and every grandchild to know that we love  them.  Who knows what troubles they will experience  as they struggle through school, work, marriage and raising children?.  Perhaps, at some low moment, they will feel cheered to think they had a grandparent who cared enough to remember them on every single birthday.  As a matter of fact, I went to a funeral  years ago, and the grandson who gave the eulogy mentioned that his grandmother always sent him a birthday card, even though he lived in Japan and only visited her once a year.  Some of our grandchildren live nearby, and we see them often.  Naturally, we will form stronger bonds with the ones who live close than with those who live thousands of miles away.  Then, too, there are issues like divorce or in-law problems that affect the way our grandchildren feel about us.  But as long as we are able, we’re going to keep sending those cards and  checks to all of them.