EARTH ANGELS AMONG US

Since this is an important weekend for many religions,  it seems like a good time to celebrate people  who give much to others, with no thought of reward.  What makes a person so generous that you can almost see the halo around their head?

Somewhere along the way, most of us have been touched by an angel.   In this instance, I’m thinking of two inspiring women who volunteer to teach Tai Chi and Mah Jongg  several days a week at our local senior center.  They also do many small favors for those who are lonely or in need.  As far as I know, one attends church and the other doesn’t, which may or may not rule out religion as their motivating factor.  What I do know is that both of them are very strong women—nothing meek and mild about them.   They come from different socio-economic circumstances, so it seems like one’s income bracket doesn’t influence  a servant’s heart.   Perhaps there’s a generosity gene in their DNA.  All I know is that earth angels are rare, and a blessing to those of us who come under their wings.

From what I’ve read, altruistic people are great leaders with a strong sense of purpose, who were raised in warm, empathetic families.   They aren’t condescending, and treat everyone with respect and dignity.  They bring out the best in people without any signs of thinking they’re superior—even though they actually are.  They would be embarrassed to read this blog, because they don’t believe they’re doing anything great.   And yet,  it would be impossible to quantify the joy they bring to so many lives, or how many low spirits have been lifted  by their kindnesses.

Thank heaven for the angels among us.

DO #SLUTTY COMEDIANS HELP WOMEN?

A few years ago, Amy Schumer was on the cover of some magazine, bragged she had slept with twenty eight men, and then proceeded to describe a one night stand with an airport hookup . Wow, she wasn’t even thirty! This was supposed to be funny?   I had seen her act on a TV show and wasn’t amused with the plethora of four letter words that spewed from her mouth.   Other female comedians began to emulate her, apparently deciding they’d cash in on the slutty act that was making this unattractive woman an overnight sensation making millions of dollars.

To me, this represented feminism at it’s worst.   It’s fine for women to make equal pay, make choices about marriage and childbearing, but going into the gutter is never going to help the #Women’s Movement.  The funniest comedian of all time (IMO) was Jonathan Winters . Here was a truly funny man, and I don’t’ recall him ever bragging about his sex life.

What would women think of a man who boasted  of sleeping with so many women he couldn’t even remember their names?  Look at the #metoo movement, giving women a chance to complain about predatory, promiscuous  men.   It seems there’s now a double standard.  Women can sleep around and boast  about it, but men wouldn’t dare do the same thing if they value their career and reputation.

If women truly want equality, they should strive for dignity and respect.   Their personal life is their own business, but frankly, I don’t want to hear the salacious details. If you read my novels, TAKE THE MONEY and CHASING THEIR LOSSES, you will know  I’m not a prude.  I don’t shy away from intimate scenes, but I like to believe they are tastefully done, without resorting to gratuitous sex.

MEN, WOMEN AND #BEAUTY

Young women today have certainly come a long way since the Women’s Movement of the 60’s.  They hold important jobs, receive equal pay, and don’t have to make a choice between family or a career.  They can travel far and wide and do wonderful things.  But there’s one place where women haven’t progressed at all.  In fact, they taken several steps backward as far the time and money  they must devote to their physical  appearance.  

When my husband and I are going to some public event, he merely has to shower and shave, throw on the same clothes he’s worn for  10  years,  and he’s good to go.  I, of course, must shower, curl my hair, find something stylish to wear (no bell bottoms, please) , and finally, apply the dreaded makeup. Then, there’s the fingernail and toenail polish, the earrings, the necklaces, the bracelets, the scarves.  I would guess women spend five times as much time and money on their appearance as men.  So, there’s the inequality.

50 years ago, a woman who wore black eyeliner, false eyelashes,  fake fingernails,  4 shades of eyeshadow , rouge and dangling earrings  was probably in the theater or the world’s oldest profession.  Most everyone else wore a bit of foundation, possibly some eyebrow pencil, a dab of lipstick, and off they went. 

Nowadays, all you have to do is turn on the news to see how things have changed.  Look at  #CNN, ABC, or # Fox News. The females have perfect hair.  (How many hours must they spend with hairdressers?). They wear as much eyeliner and mascara as an Egyptian princess.  And of course, the eyelash extensions and trendy clothes are a must.   Their teeth are pearly white, their faces glitter and glow, and their skirts go up above their knees. The women on #PBS aren’t quite so made up and girly girl, but even there, the dangling earrings that catch the light during serious discussions are distracting.  Male newscasters don’t have to look glamorous.  They’re supposed to look serious, which they wouldn’t if they wore even half as much makeup  and revealing clothes  as their female counterparts.  And it bothers me that they’ve tried to tart up Sarah Huckabee.  I liked her just the way she was.

Women are  not equal as far as appearance is concerned. The cosmetics industry is growing more prosperous, and gentlemen still prefer painted ladies.

PEOPLE WHO ARE ALWAYS LATE

All of us have family and friends who are always late.  Mostly, we just expect it, and put up with it as a harmless, but undesirable character trait.

Yes, lateness is offensive to us punctual people.  So, today,  I searched the internet for ways to understand these habitual offenders.  I expected to find lots of critics, and I did read some articles  flatly stating that tardiness is rude, inconsiderate behavior practiced by self centered people.  But hold on to your hats, folks—it ain't necessarily so.

According to psychologists, lateness has a myriad of causes. Some people just can’t get their act together, because they’re overly optimistic about how much time something will take.  They think it will take half an hour to get to the airport, when actually, it will probably take much longer, depending on the traffic.  Others multitask, and get so involved with what they are doing that they lose track of time.  Supposedly, this is a very good excuse and means the person is more is creative and laid back.  Stop, I’ve heard enough.  I don’t want to believe the person who keeps me waiting half an hour for a theater date is a highly sensitive, thoughtful person.

More to my liking were the articles that attributed lateness  to negative traits like a desire for attention, or passive aggression. Then there were the  scientists  who have discovered  that people with low self esteem are apt to be critical of their own abilities which makes them take an excessive amount of time checking their work, and hence, they miss many deadlines. Another psychologist stated  that lateness is a consequence of serious mental health or neurological conditions.   Up, down, all around. If you’re always late you could be creative, intelligent, manic,  lazy or any label you can come up with.

Okay, I’ve heard enough now to realize that that I should be more tolerant of tardiness.  So, the next time someone is an hour late for a dinner date,  I’m supposed to relax, order another glass of wine on an empty stomach, and smile?  No, I don’t think so.

WHY DIDN'T WE PROTEST?

As members of the Silent Generation,   we young women  didn’t  protest much of anything. Why not? 

There was plenty to protest:  racial inequality, sexual harassment,  income disparity for women, abortion rights, the Korean War, to name a few.  But we just sat there and took it.  I suppose there are many reasons, but I have to believe that the birth control pill  freed women from being stuck at home raising big families, feeling they might as well get married as stay single and work the rest of their lives for low wages as a nurse, secretary, store clerk, or teacher.  If you were a “good girl” and didn’t make any waves, some man would come along and rescue you from a dreary, celibate life as an “old maid.”

We’ve come a long way, Baby. Here’s a picture of my two  daughters  with some of their friends at yesterday's March For Our Lives in Washington DC.   So proud of them I could cry. I may not agree with all of their causes, but I’m happy they feel free to stand up for their beliefs,  and took the time from their incredibly busy schedules to fly to DC with the hope of creating a better world for all of  our grandchildren.

GRATITUDE, GRANDCHILDREN & THANK YOU NOTES

  

Do you always receive a thank you note for the presents you send to your grandchildren?

If you listen to women at club meetings and bridge parties, you’re apt to hear a lot of grumbling on the subject.  Conventional wisdom says you should stop sending gifts to anyone who doesn’t acknowledge receiving them.  But hey, wait a minute.   Between the two of us, my husband and I have nine grandchildren,  Some write lovely thank you notes, some text or email, and a few of them say nothing at all.  Are we supposed to stop sending birthday and Christmas checks to the ungrateful ones?  We must conclude that those who don’t acknowledge gifts have not been well trained by their parents—who happen to be our very own children.

  

At our age, we never know when some medical disaster will strike.  So, before that happens, we want each and every grandchild to know that we love  them.  Who knows what troubles they will experience  as they struggle through school, work, marriage and raising children?.  Perhaps, at some low moment, they will feel cheered to think they had a grandparent who cared enough to remember them on every single birthday.  As a matter of fact, I went to a funeral  years ago, and the grandson who gave the eulogy mentioned that his grandmother always sent him a birthday card, even though he lived in Japan and only visited her once a year.  Some of our grandchildren live nearby, and we see them often.  Naturally, we will form stronger bonds with the ones who live close than with those who live thousands of miles away.  Then, too, there are issues like divorce or in-law problems that affect the way our grandchildren feel about us.  But as long as we are able, we’re going to keep sending those cards and  checks to all of them.

SHAPE UP WITH SMOOTHIES AT ANY AGE

Have you ever tried a vegetable smoothie, or for that matter, any kind of smoothie?  I used to think of them as a beverage that appealed more to younger people…you know, the kind you see out jogging through the park on a cold Sunday morning,

wearing nothing but a pair of jeggings  and a T shirt,  while  you’re bundled up in a ski  jacket, scarf, and gloves.   A smoothie didn’t seem like a suitable meal for an octogenarian .

But then, I saw  my daughter buy eight boxes of strawberries on sale, which she proceeded to stem, wash, and freeze separately on cookie sheets before bagging.   What in the world was she going to do with all those strawberries?  Put them in her family’s morning smoothies, of course.

After that day,  I decided to concoct my own smoothies using low fat  Greek yogurt for protein and probiotics, and fruits or vegetables for added flavor and nutrients—all swirled together in the blender for a couple of minutes.  At first. I  combined at least three fruits with  the yogurt--- oranges,  pineapple,  grapes, bananas, blueberries—just about any thing  I could find in the refrigerator or freezer.  Then, I got creative and decided to try vegetable smoothies for a change.    The same amount of yogurt, but this time, with a combination of three vegetables like cucumbers, spinach, kale, asparagus or  tomatoes.  Some people make vegetable/fruit combos, with 60 % fruit, 40% vegetable.  There are hundreds of recipes on the net,but you really don’t need one.   Every smoothie tastes different, depending upon what you’ve thrown in the blender.  A smoothie with a couple of crackers makes a  healthy, low calorie meal.  So, the next time your grandchildren stop by, fix them a #smoothie!

SHOULD YOU START A BLOG?

Should You Start A Blog if you are #over #eighty?  Especially if you hadn't used a computer until your were #fifty and never took an #Information Technology class in your life?  I'm beginning to wonder.  I thought I had done fairly well, publishing three books with #Kindle and #Create Space all on my own in the past 3 years.  I have #twitter and #facebook accounts.  But this #Blogger thing is really throwing me for a loop.  I don't understand all the gadgets in the layout section, don't know if I should be on Google+ or Blogger, not sure if I have the right settings. To add to my frustration, I called the computer lab at our local library for help and they said no one there knows anything about Blogger!

To make matters worse, I inadvertently posted something that violated some boundary on google, so that post got deleted, and now my page views have gone down.  I'm sure I've clicked the wrong button somewhere while I was trying to find out what happened.

I finally got another email from the library that they would try and help me figure it out if I wanted to set up an appointment.  Also, waiting for a book I ordered from #Amazon called #Blogging for #Dummies. (that sounds about right for me).  So, I guess I'll just keep on trying for awhile, at least until I've torn out all of my hair.

Hooray for Cheap Asparagus

Asparagus is basically an elitist vegetable, often served at upscale restaurants where you can pay

ten or twelve dollars for a glass of wine.   But now is the season when we commoners can enjoy it at bargain prices.  I used to treat asparagus with great care, steaming it for just the right number of minutes to keep it crisp and rushing it to the table before it got cold.  But when my husband brought home a bundle of it last week and requested asparagus quiche for dinner, I decided to try cooking the spears  in the microwave.  One and a half minutes was all it took. Super easy! 

Asparagus is nutritious, delicious, and versatile.  It’s wonderful as a salad—just lay some cold, cooked spears on a bed of lettuce, sprinkle them with red pimento , top with egg slices, and serve with thousand island dressing.

It is a low calorie accompaniment to any meat, poultry or fish entree. But we love it in this quiche recipe which I clipped from a gourmet magazine years ago, then modified the part where it called for home made pie crust.  I haven’t made pie crust for 15 years.  I know it’s good, but the supermarket variety isn’t that bad. 

                                                Asparagus Quiche

Unwrap a pre made pie crust in a pie plate, bake it in the oven at 400 degrees for about ten minutes until it’s dry but not brown.  (You pre bake it so it doesn’t come out soggy). Take it out and let it cool while you prepare the filling:

                                Filling: ¼ pound bacon

                                1 pound asparagus, trimmed and cut into half inch pieces

                                4 large or 5 medium eggs

                                1 15 oz. container of ricotta cheese (can use whole milk or low fat)

                                1 teaspoon salt

                                ¾ teaspoons pepper (unless it makes you sneeze)

                                Pinch of ground nutmeg
                                3 chopped green onions.

Fry bacon until crisp;  drain on paper towel. Chop bacon. Cook asparagus about 1 1/2 minutes in the microwave and let cool. Whisk eggs, ricotta, salt, pepper and nutmeg in bowl. Stir in bacon asparagus and green onions.

Spoon filling into crust. Bake 35 minutes at 375 degrees for 35 minutes or until filling is firm. Let cook 5 minutes, then cut into wedges. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Enjoy!

PROLIFIC WRITERS, THICK BOOKS AND ACHY SHOULDERS

If you read my profile, you will see that I've published a few books, myself, so I know how much effort goes into producing 600+ pages.  Unfortunately for seniors, heavy hardcover books can leave you with sore fingers and achy shoulders, depending on the severity of your arthritis.

I've just returned from the library, and as I stood perusing the shelves, I realized that I was unconsciously bypassing thick books.  I know---I could miss something really great.  But there's always Kindle if I see a book that looks like a MustRead.  And,  let's face it, there's lots of competition for readers among authors, and millions of books on the market. 

Now, gift books are another matter, because they are frequently chosen by a well meaning adult child to give a parent on special occasions.  Gift givers want to appear generous, so they are apt to choose thick books that will look good under the Christmas tree.  Of course,as a recipient, I feel compelled to read these large volumes, employing various devices such as finding a place to prop up my knees to hold the book, or opening it flat on a table while I sit with elbows propped, fists against my cheek.

Naturally, if I am buying a book, I want to get my money's worth, so I won't spend $25 for 120 pages. It seems to me 300 or 400 pages is about right for my shoulders.  So authors, don't worry if you can't come up with a sequel to War & Peace.

TWO NAMES YOU SHOULD NEVER CALL A WOMAN

A female who is interacting with colleagues,  salesmen, store clerks and other strangers is addressed in different ways as she navigates through life.  A child, of course, will usually be called Honey or Dear.  As a young adult, I was often called  Hon, Babe Miss or Gal (shudder). A wedding ring brought a  little more respect, especially if there were kids in tow.  You found yourself being called Ma'm more often than not.

Now, if you happened to go into the deep south--someplace like Savannah--you might be called Sugar, no matter how old you were.. It was part of their culture,  and wasn't referring to anything but your gender.  I always loved it when people called me that.  It was pronounced Sugahh, and you knew it was just a gracious way to make you feel warm and welcome.

Then, along about the age of fifty or thereafter, you notice some of the men you interact with have begun to call you Young Lady.  I know it was meant to be flattering, but it came across as condescending, and made me cringe. It implied that even though I was post menopausal, I still looked pretty decent for my age. Would a man of sixty like a woman to call him Young Man?  And why wasn't I called that when I actually was a young lady?

But when you start approaching eighty,  it gets worse;  now they  call you Sweetie or Sweetheart, as if they are patting a little old lady on the head. I do not appreciate hairdressers, waitresses, salesclerks and other strangers using such  terms of endearment.  I am not anyone's sweetheart but my husband's.  I know they mean well, but I just wish they knew that a simple,  respectful Ma'm would do..

JAR LIDS, BOTTLE CAPS, AND PLASTIC CASES

It tough enough for seniors to deal with childproof lids on medications, but it's almost as bad trying to get a cartridge of computer ink out of it's plastic case. I've been digging at a pack with a scissors now for about 10 minutes, and still haven't gotten the doggone thing to open up.

Another pet peeve is toilet bowl cleaner.  Ugh, that's nasty stuff, but we all have to keep it on hand.
Of course, the manufacturers have to be extra careful because it's not only toxic, it can burn your skin.  You sure don't want a kid getting even near it.  So of course, getting the cap open is an exercise in frustration.  You twist and turn it this way and that.  Then you pound it and squeeze it.  Just as you're about to go back  to the #DollarStore and ask the clerk to open it, you finally hit the sweet spot.  Voila, it's open!

My husband has a cousin who lives in LA.  Last week, she had to walk to the supermarket to find someone who could open a pickle jar. I know, they sell those rubber things that are supposed to help you get a grip, but they don't really do the job.  Maybe they should have a senior friendly section in the supermarket with easy to open products.

FASCINATING OBITUARIES

Have you written yours yet? A few years ago, I realized I had begun to read every obituary in both the #IndianapolisStar and our local paper.  Many days, they are the most interesting thing to read, especially if you're fed up with political news.

Some obits are long and extremely detailed, which leads me to believe the deceased may have had a hand in it. Who else would remember every single award a person ever won, all the countries visited on their many trips, every job they've held, and all of their hobbies? Still, I enjoy all the details, but then I've always loved #autobiographies.

The published  names are also interesting.  Women often list three or four last names, beginning with their maiden name, then on to the surname of each husband. Some people who've been married more than once start by naming their first husband from whom they were divorced and had x number of children with. Then, they go on to name subsequent spouses and progeny. Inevitably, these detailed obits also describe the person's social life, club memberships, achievements not only of themselves , but their children.

Many spiritual people confidently state that the dead person has been received into the arms of their "Lord & Savior." I always admire that kind of faith.

Finally, will they have a conventional church funeral or a heathen #memorial service at cocktail hour? Some have both, but it's usually one or the other. Many opt for nothing at all as it is stated, " at Jack's request, there will be no services."

So, the next time you think there's nothing of interest in the newspaper, head for the obituaries!

LIVING PAST YOUR EXPIRATION DATE

Did you ever think your would live to #eighty?  As a teenager, and even as I approached #retirement, I never considered the idea that I might reach that milestone, and be living with a husband who is 4 years older than me. Now, that's really old!

The day a child is born, actuaries in the insurance business give him or her an #expiration date. Currently, babies born now are expected to live until 80.

So what about those of us who were born before 1937? If born in the years before that, you were expected to leave this world at 65. So, we #octogenarians are living past our expiration date; 50% of our birth year buddies have already left us.

You have to be blessed with fairly good health to get this far.  And yet, you realize it can't go on forever. When you catch the flu and run a fever, you wonder if it will turn into pneumonia. Ten years ago, if  I came down with a virus, I felt confident that if I slurped chicken soup and waited for the fever to break, I would soon be well.  Now, the same symptoms bring on a tinge or worry that I might not make it this time.  Is that pain in my chest indigestion or a heart attack?  Should I call the  doctor  or wait a few days to see what happens?  But when all's said and done, you figure you've had a pretty good run, and so what? Just don't buy green bananas.